My friends, something truly awful has happened. One of the big brains EMC keeps locked away (For the good of all humanity you understand) has escaped from one of ivory towers of the CTO's office and is now running amuck.
If anyone see's particle physicist, CTO and EMC Distinguished Engineer Dr. Subramanian Kartik running around the place do not approach.
Not only does he know more than you but he'll happily explain what you don't know to an insane level of detail using graphs, charts, diagrams, equations and "facts" if you stand still long enough.
Consider him armed with a calculator and dangerous.
(Especially if you are one of the SPC sock puppets.)