Payola and other nonsense

When people working at EMC didn't blog it was a conspiracy of silence. When they do blog and it's just a conspiracy. Grab your tin-foil hat we're taking a trip to crazy-town..

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Robin Harris is up to his usual amateur theatrics, he mustn't be making that much money from the ads he runs on his site so it's time to generate some cheap heat. (Which reminds me, don't be a flaphead Robin offer a full feed) First he slings accusations around the round the place and decides he'll offer himself up to run a charm school for bloggers.

This is the man who mocks people in comment responses and then edits them later to hide the fact. So you know, somewhere in his lesson plan there's the chapter on being snide so long as the other person doesn't find out about it.

This is also the guy who selectively parses email conversations and posts them on his blog. You'll recall I didn't have a problem with him posting the conversation, I know one person blogging longer than I have and (He writes WordPress MultiUser) so I know how this game works, but I did have a problem with him posting selective parts of the conversation.

Charming indeed.

As for his accusations of Payola let me make this very clear:

If it's going on I want in

I'll even create a rate card. Latest hot new gadget I want and I'll kiss your ass on line for a month, get me my pick of Suicide Girls and I'll hype your product 24x7 for the next ten years.

Call me! :)

Anil then throws out the line that Bloggers who work at EMC are all controlled by Central Office and come right out of Central Casting. Well Anil here's the truth of it, though I don't have the blow dried napoleon hair or the perfectly capped teeth I am the giant conspiracy. I'm the Central Office, so I'll take credit for every word of anything anyone has written so long as it was good. The crappy stuff? That was all them.

The issue is one of blogger diversity, the fact is that internally the higher profile bloggers all come from the same city inside the EMC empire, though from different neighborhoods. The reality of the matter is that there's an element of people not willing to be the ones to dive into the pool first in case there are alligators in there and they haven't been fed. Those of us splashing around already are trying to ease others in and aren't afraid of a savaging but it takes time.

No one gets anything for doing this, so they have to ask themselves why bother? 

EMC has hundreds of people (And growing fast) on Ning and a thousand or more (And growing fast) on Facebook. I've approached people I'd be interested in reading and have asked if they'd be interested in blogging outside the walls even offering tech support (Again on my own time) to get them up and running. Some people politely decline, others ask me why they'd want to draw that kind of attention to themselves, others still tell me that they're not interested in joining some gang of nerds who argue with each other online when they should spend more of their time with their families or outdoors.

They make a compelling argument.

So to confess it all not only am I shaping every piece of text written by EMC employees past and present:

-I've been responsible for every South American Junta for the past 20 years.

-It was I who faked the moon landings. If I could do it again I'd paint in the stars and stop that flag from flapping.

-I covered up the cold fusion breakthrough. We can't have your gas guzzler running on a near limitless fuel cell the size of a bottle of water when there's oil to be sold.

-And finally..it was I who canceled both The Cosby Show and MacGyver. And I did so for the same reason.

I hope this clears stuff up and reinforces the view that I truly am the Prince of Darkness, and we're not just a bunch of people who want to build great products and help solve people's problems and will punch someone harder if they punch us.

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You may now remove your tin-foil hat and exit the ride.

Comments

[Matt Donovan]

You canceled MacGyver? *wipes tear from cheek*

[Storagezilla]

And I'd do it again too Matt. I'd do it again too! ;)

[Barry Whyte]

PMSL! Sounds like you have had a busy few years! Maybe you need some help and together we can bring that world peace you mentioned ;-P

[Storagezilla]

Barry, I'm like a Lex Luthor who never sleeps!

And if I worked on world peace who's kids would I have to sell guns to?

[Anil Gupta]

Mark,

Quite an emotional response. Relax, man! All this discussion about EMC corporate blogging among you guys, Robin and others have been quite enlightening.

If I was getting such feedback, only words I will say "Thanks, when can I take you out for beer/coffee/lunch to pick your brain further." But, then I don't have EMC DNA.

Anil

[Storagezilla]

I'm afraid you're picking up things from the text which just aren't there Anil. Response on your blog.

As for Robin being enlightening, he has a history of mis-representing EMC and doing his utmost to cast it's employees in the worst light possible. Look at the analysts day fiasco, instead of just declining to sign an NDA and keeping the relationship professional he decided to martyr himself for some cheap heat on his blog.

You and I diverge on what's enlightening and what's just another pointless ABE attack from a guy with a history of such stunt posts.